Thursday, December 13, 2012

my DADDY strongEST

When people say: Age is just a number, its rather a lil difficult to believe it to be true. But when i see this man, aging in number but not in life, i have no choice but to know, it's true to the hilt. My Dad turned 57 today....and he works and runs around like he is 27...

His running around for things seem endless. Not only coz he wants to achieve the things he has set his eyes / mind / heart on but also coz he is a perfectionist. He takes care of minutest things and pays attention to every detail. Its irritating at times coz it delays things or even complicates them further but when the work is done, we realize, every bit of that tension he took was necessary coz otherwise, the result wouldn't be so fine. Me and mom keep worrying for his health for he is ignorant towards it (like most men of his age are i guess) but he says nothing will happen to him and that life is just once, you cannot seem to worry about what will happen tomorrow and stop doing things you love the most (like eating fried and sweet things and sleeping late at night).




But all that apart, my daddy is a sweetheart. Right from childhood i remember the finest conversations I have had with him. The best food for soul and food for thought is from him. He has in all ways been the best person of my life and he inspires me in many ways. He is an idealist, a keen perfectionist, a die hard patriot, very head strong, genuinely philanthropic, truly generous, compassionate and warm.

He is versatility personified. He was a government servant for 22 years. He has been a national level TT player. He is a politician. A successful businessman. He is a social service enthusiastic. He is a public leader. He is a visionary. He is an organizer. He is an amazing friend who gave up his best stakes just to support his friend. He is the most encouraging husband who made my mom do things she never imagined she could do. He is a very loving son who does everything humanely possible to give a life that his mother (my daadi) would never have dreamt of. He is a stupendous father who has given me all that i wished for, dreamed for, asked for and even things i never wanted just coz he knew it would help in shaping up my identity. I have seen him give up on his dreams, his wishes, his desires and sacrifice money wise, health wise, emotion wise, time wise for even my tiniest of events.....be it my stage performance or my classes or a rehearsal or just a party. But all the more, He is an outstanding human being who is full of compassion, empathy and a dire undying desire to do good to fellow human beings and is working towards good causes for a very long time and i hope and pray God bestows his choicest blessings on him to continue doing the same for the rest of his life (just that he makes sure to take a lil care of his own health in the process of doing good to others)!!!

My daddy has struggled real hard through real bad financial crisis to give me the best. Not just something i needed but even the things i SHOULD have (according to him) to help me shine and be the best. All the fame that i have got till date is coz of him. All the honesty I have in life is coz i have seen him be honest and true to his conscious all this life. All the dreams that have come true for till today is coz he was always there as the back up plan. If i have learnt to fly high is coz i know, he is watching my back and he shall not let me fall. He has always gone out of his way to give me the happiness and joy to my heart's content. I just wish i can repay him someday in someway and make him proud and happy that all of his hardwork and sacrifices were worth.


I LOVE YOU PAPA....YOU ARE THE BEST AND YOU BRING OUT THE BEST IN ME.... <3



Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Hitched!!!!!

Its still only sinking in with great difficulty that i am finally there, where i never wanted to be! I look at my left hand's ring finger, see a shiny platinum love band and realize, so much in my life has changed, all but for good!!! :)

Poor thing, my FiancĂ©, i tell him "it feels like nothing between us has changed..."! May be that's coz i somehow feel the same way for him and for us, may be much stronger now... Coz the love was always there, the distances (physical ones) were always there and the connection we shared has always been, right there... Or may be it is because, it still has to sink in completely that i am ENGAGED !! and soon to get MARRIED !!

A place i never wanted to be...and today i am looking forward to the day when i am his and he is mine, in all ways possible! :)

It's a good feeling, good actually is an understatement, it's an amazing feeling...to be a part of someone's life, someone's world, someone's family, someone's very being and being such an important part that everything around seems to be changing in a beautiful manner...

Golden period people say is the courting period i.e. the time between the engagement and the wedding...but our golden period has only thousands of miles, whatsapp, phone calls and webcam sessions :( it's a terrible thing to be not able to see him till the time, the marriage actually happens. But all said and done, i have no regrets.. Coz i had an amazing time with him (in spirit so far and in person)... and i feel really really lucky that love came along my way in such a splendid manner...coz he has a heart of gold...and loves me jus the way i want *touchwood*

i look fwd to know him better, understand his pain and be a part of his life in a way that nothing / no one can separate us...Ironies rule life in every manner... i was headstrong against getting married and today i cannot wait to take that road with him and build a new world with him... :)

Now, i do not fear a thing and do not mind saying out loud: I LOVE YOU!!!!







Friday, November 2, 2012

hEaRtbReaKs

Another heartbreak !!!

Do i really have to courage to face it, once more, all over again?

I am asking this question to myself a lot often these days...coz i am really really scared of how things will turn out... the countdown has begun and there are just a few days left before things would be actually be decided... 

hEaRtbReaKs are freakin' mad !! aren't they? We all (whether or not we admit) have faced heartbreaks in life at least once...and we all know, they hurt so bad !!


I am looking fwd in life today with dreams that are really colorful and i am really hoping that my dreams come true (very obvious)... but if these dreams DO NOT come true, i shall be soon living a nightmare of my own make .....


And I do not know, if i have the strength to live it... !!!




How i wish feelings had a sort of a switch.. !! you can switch it on or off whenever you want to.. life would be so much easier... !! but again, i think, why do something like that? Life is just once... if you don't live every phase of yo life to the fullest / if you don't feel ever inch of yo emotions / if you don't closely look at every scar the bleeding wounds left / if you don't cherish every joy and every special moment's mesmerizing effect, what life have you lived !!!!



TRUE THAT !!!

The move you love, the more vulnerable you get yourself... to the pain, the agony, the frustration..but on the flip side, why forget that if you love more... you are more exposing yourself to those you love to love you back...care for you...and coz you make them feel special, do you not feel special yourself? ofcoz you do... its an elated feeling to love someone with all your heart...even tho you know not, what's in store for you... !!! :)





forgetting someone who gave you a lot to remember, is one of the toughest things to do and when such a time comes, that's when you say that you have had a heartbreak





Time and life is uncertain and unpredictable...no matter what i think...what i fear...what i wish or what i hope... life has its own decided course and things are going to exactly flow in that pre chalked out manner... but if ...heartbreak is what's in store for me... i wish and pray and hope that i am bestowed with abundant strength... to move on and forget the past....... AS SOON AS I CAN with lesser pain .. and agony...


Friday, October 26, 2012

MEANT TO BE


Somehow I am coming across a lot of things that depict a picture of autumn or autumn leaves. It’s strange! In the beginning I did not notice this. But after a while it became something I would keenly observe, being aware. Everywhere I go, I somehow tend to see the autumn or autumn trees that’s shedding its dried leaves… !



Recently I went to a hobby store to buy a few things I needed to make holiday greetings and there the first thing I saw was a clipboard full of autumn leaves and falling leaves… I went to buy a certain kitchen wear and there too I see coffee mugs n serving trays with autumn leaves… these are some I wanted to quote else there are so many such instances… ! It really got me thinking coz I am someone who has grown to believe that nothing in life, happens as a coincidence. It’s all part of the story written for you…part of an Ala Grand plan. It all has a meaning. Nothing happens without a reason. There is a purpose in every event, big or small. Everything that comes to you, it’s a sign. If you can catch it, life becomes a tad bit easier else you can still manage.

So, getting back to the autumn leaves! Well I am at that stage of life, where things in store are clear yet blurred. None of us ever know what future holds, true that. But when a certain event begins to shape up and everything else starts to fall in place to let that event begin in the way it is planned, your dreams / hopes / anticipations / predictions / desires start to froth on the surface and you begin to picture your tomorrow according. The beauty of this is that the future is still unknown but the hopes we carry makes us visualize a certain future and in our heads, we see the events happening. But of course, all of that won’t essentially happen the way we have pictured. But that doesn't stop us from doing so; even if it makes us oh! So vulnerable!!! :)

I have been doing this since last few weeks. My hopes about a certain event are brimming high. I have visualized a certain set of days so many times in my head that they almost seem real to me now. But all of this, doesn't mean, it shall all happen the way I have pictured it in my head! There are 50% chances (or so I think) of these things to go the way I have pictured it in my head and so 50% chances that they go in the complete opposite direction…!

I guess seeing the falling autumn leaves, I am to learn to know, that it is OKAY! If what I dream of is meant to be it will find its way. If it’s not meant to be, no matter what is done, by whatever means, it shall somehow end up being a mess and not happen. How much ever pain the trees or the leaves might have to suffer, when the leaves fall from the tree, the tree survives and the leaves accept their destiny and sways with the blowing wind to find its destiny, whatever that is. But that shall not stop me from hoping or dreaming, I dunno how it's ought to be, but that’s how it shall be with me!! :)

Looking forward to my tomorrow, where I have a few hopes and dreams waiting to turn to reality but in the deep dark nights, I am preparing myself for the worst outcome that could be and have the courage to accept and face the situation. Coz if that is what happened, that was meant to be !!! Maybe not now, but few years down the line, I shall look back and understand, why all that happened, whatever that happened, good or bad was momentary, in the end it’s all good!!! :)


Saturday, October 20, 2012

If Only

IF ONLY...........

These two words, now mean a lifetime to me. I could have never imagined love would knock at my door in such a majestic way. They say when artists n poets are in love, its beauty all the way... May be i dint believe in that until today..! True that, since the day love has decided to stay on in my life, yes beauty has been lingering in everything around me. Love does that to you may be. No matter where you are or what you are doing, no matter how bad or dull the day is, no matter how sickening or annoying the situations are, you are happy from within, if you are in love! Strange as it gets, and as filmy or cheesy it may sound, it surely is the sheer truth...you may or may not believe it ...but that's the way it is...


Whoever said love happens just once? How can something so fulfilling and something so beautiful just happen once? Good things come to you in many shapes n sizes, all the time, you just need to make sure you have not shut yo self and you shall never miss it. Its a farce when people say you fall in love just once... Gravity does that to you, unless you have someone to catch you and keep you safe in their arms for the rest of the life, you keep falling in love, again and again and again ... And once you have that special someone in yo life, the magic of life n love makes you fall in love again and again and again, with the SAME person, all  your life... :)


L0ve.. is a crazy wonderful beautiful thing that makes you believe that dreams can come true, that reality can be better than fantasy, that hopes can bear fruits, that desires do have a means to get done, that magic is not just a word! Especially when you get the commendable feeling of "THIS IS IT" for someone and you start to plan yo every move, yo ever action keeping that person in the core, yo world gets a new direction and you get a whole new shiny reason to live and be happy.......be happier than ever before...!!!


Somehow i feel like i can go on n on n on about love and its great attributes today and the way i feel since a while...but i rest my words here and get back to feeling AwEsoMe
.......


Friday, August 24, 2012

Happiness cannot to DEPENDENT on anyone!




Past few weeks I have been very lost … not exactly sad but really really lost! Confused you can say… but not exactly that way coz I am straightened up in my head… and been busy too so never really got the time to sit down and dissect my state of mind until today of course…

My problem is that I am an incorrigible person. I never learn. Neither from my mistakes nor from others’ mistakes… I many a times calling something as a “lesson learnt the hard way” but again find myself doing the same thing over n over again…!

So in the past few days or weeks may be what I have been doing is that I am following my heart and doing exactly what I want to do, without much ado… but in turn I am making my very happiness dependent on others..! In a good way mostly but I am doing that…and I know it’s wrong! It is so very wrong… esplly if you love that other person, how can you ever burden them with this? This idea that your happiness is in their hands... Isn’t that being selfish? Like so very selfish!!!

So today after I am done analyzing my state my mind, I am deciding that my state of mind is not gonna be anything but “Happy”!!! Coz happiness after all, however cliqued it might sound, IS MOST definitely a state of mind…

Giving away, expressing, loving, caring, being there, understanding….all of this, I do, coz I get a good feeling out of this…!! I agree, as a human being I am bound to expect and when expectation are not fulfilled I am bound to get hurt, so let it be! That fear of getting hurt, should not and WILL NOT change who or how I am!!!!!

I am no more going to be lost or confused or sad…coz that’s not what I deserve after doing exactly what my heart wanted me to do…if I know I have done no wrong, if I know what I did; gave me a good feeling, if I know I did the very same that I wanted to do, why should it depend of its result to be complete? It is as difficult as easy it sounds, but I am gonna give it a good shot… I am gonna keep the two events separate!!! Something like this:

1. I did what I wanted to do
2. I got whatever the other person wanted to give/do.

These two things are two separate events, executed by two different people, at different times, with different point of view and understanding so they cannot be the part of the same event and because the second one is not something I expected it to be, it is not gonna let me down…feel blue or lost or sad or confused or devastated…

I need to believe again that I WILL NEVER BE GIVEN PAIN THAT I CANNOT TAKE…!!!

So I am gonna take chances
Do hell if I fail!
I am gonna love,
Do hell if I don’t get it back!
I am gonna chase the sunshine,
Do hell if I burn my skin a li’l!
I am gonna be there for the people who matter to me,
Do hell if I am left alone in dark!
I am gonna care for the things that need care,
Do hell if my needs are never catered to!
I am gonna dream on,
Do hell if I fall flat on my face!
I am gonna express how I am feeling,
Do hell if I am judged!
I am gonna share my feelings,
Do hell if I am rendered vulnerable!

J I am gonna smile, come what may… I am gonna hope, at every cost… I am gonna never stop being me – no matter however strong the luring is to be someone else!!!!


Monday, July 30, 2012

this NOVEL phase of life

Have you ever felt that suddenly,
everything that was scattered all around the place,
has now started making sense...?

Have you ever smiled all day long,
just thinking about some past conversation you had,
which if asked about,
you wont be able to narrate...?

Have you ever thought about someone so much,
that you start to fall in love
with the very idea of that person being in your life...?

Have you ever hummed songs and when
you find that they perfectly fit the situations,
in your life at a given moment,
and so laughed about it...?

Have you ever had a time when you cannot sleep at night,
just coz you cant stop thinking-rethinking and anticipating,
about how a certain those things will fall in place
and get upset at a moment; fearing it would all fall apart...?

Have you ever wondered,
why a certain someone would become so important to you,
that you would not see your day ending without having spent
some time with them, in some way or the other... ?


All of this a lot more is happening with me off late and i am truly enjoying this novel phase of life!!!

Monday, July 23, 2012

The MATRIMONIAL sites' Era!!!




You wouldn't know a certain things unless you face them / experience them yourself -- True that .... 



For my entire life, the one thing that i had been joking about, since two days has been playing a very tricky role in my life!!!

I was of the strong opinion during my late teens that "arrange marriages" are boring-dull-lifeless & totally out dated (i guess like most teens believe, thanks to all the mills n boons and Bollywood-Hollywood movies that soars up your idea of romance to different skies, that somehow, don't really exist). And just after i tasted reality in many ways, i came to the opinion that arrange marriages are better over love marriages, for one and more reasons and the famous taboo that most divorce cases are usually "love marriages"!!

Also, somehow i fell in love with the idea that two people, of different but same worlds, come together, decide in a very short span that THIS IS IT, get together to spend rest of their lives together and strive to know each other layer by layer and gradually fall in love (sometimes head over heels). I somehow went on to believe that such kind of love is stronger, grows deeper and keeps you on your toe all the while!!!! Already sounds exciting...doesn't it??? It does to me...

So, now that i am off age, things at my end regarding marriage and all, started steaming up... Sometimes here n there, by someone or the other, on serious notes or otherwise, started coming up in some or the other forms and ofcoz i got clear indications about my steps ahead on this unknown path of life, which would be leading me to a whole new world, that i would be having to call my own!!!

And after having a heart-to-heart discussion with my close friends and family, i came to the conclusion that, If its all about giving it a shot, why not... We experiment in many things in life...then why not this one... MARRIAGE as they say is made in heaven but is to be worked out ...here...on earth! And ofcoz its the biggest gamble you play in your life, blind or not, known or not, sure or not, it is the greatest chance that you take...and if you make it, you are the happiest person alive and if not............urrmmm lets not get there ;)

Yeah, so finally i gave up my inhibition and agreed that i am ready to "LOOK" around for a suitable match and see how things work, taking them forward, one step at a time, you know! But, has life always been so predictable and simple? Naaaaah! So here we go... i like "I" .....first shocker to my friends that "I" got myself registered on one of the most popular matrimonial sites....at first for the heck of it.....but then, after a while, i got curious so started giving a look here n there....and then after hearing a few super bad experiences from my friends, who are on the same site and getting all the more skeptical about it, i met someone on the very same site... to his request i am concealing his identity...lets but call him PT....so PT happened, after a few formalities of the site, we got on to chat...then mail a lot often and then on the phone! One night -- 10 hours -- thousands of miles apart -- i am talking to a stranger, like we have been buddies since forever who lost touch for a few years and now are catching up!

The connection was instant... !!! Not saying i am totally sure that this is it or that i m head over heels in love but then, we hit it off like house on fire!!! Otherwise, who talks for 10 hours on an international call for the very first time to someone they know nothing about!!!!!!!!!

It was....all of it...was astonishing and crazy and insane and interesting and curious and fun and good...but more than anything else, it was like an indication, that may be we can take things further, just on the reason that "We can talk"!!! For the kind of person i am, i dont usually open up to people at ease...nor would i be comfortable talking about itter-bitter things with someone i have never met and know nothing about...but i did... and so did he...

And while talking, i somehow got this thought hovering over my head that these matrimonial sites aren't really arranged marriage, they are refined version of love marriage...coz unlike in arranged marriages, where the parents first meet and then if they are okay with everything, the kids are involved, given less time and its decided...here, the individuals themselves are involved, they interact, for however long they want to and then if things work out between them, they get the family involved....

But yet again, i have second thoughts, i think these matrimonial sites are a middle point of the two extremes of Love marriage and Arranged marriage... This thought came when a friend asked .. so would you call it love marriage or arranged marriage and i was dumbstruck...bcoz it is neither but it is both of that in a way... As of now, things are dwindling in the air with me and PT... so we are taking it slow (not really :P but yea in a way) and lets see, what future holds for the two of us or for each of us...!

And the thing that i laughed and joked about a few years back, is at the moment, given me some most astonishing and interesting hours of my life ....of conversations with PT...and i have my *fingers crossed*



Life truly is very uncertain
And we have to be ready for surprises ... 
at every point of life ... 
coz you never know, 
which one of these surprises might change yo life, 
forever and for the better!!!





Wednesday, July 18, 2012

the "BE HAPPY" phase

For a very long time, i had been dependent on others (though all close friends and family) for my own very happiness! Even if it had to do by making them happy! I had started feeling handicapped without a few people around and i would never be happy... This feeling was okay for a while but as time passed by, it started taking a toll on me and at times took the better off me...

A very dear friend, since a few months has begun to behave very odd. Strange would be undermining the attitude being shown. And this hurt me a lot... There were days when i was upset solely coz of this reason... Sometimes even got into a shell where i was so alone that even the thought of someone else disgusted me. For the hypersensitive me (only in case of friends n family) it is tough to cope up situations when a dear friends has a cold shoulder to show!!!

But then, one day i decided to think about this whole situation, because this wasn't the first time, when something like this had a very strong impact on me. As long as the impact is there, it is okay, but the moment it starts interfering in my personal space and professional aptitude, it becomes a mess and i want to avoid it as much as i can... And so i did...!

Thinking went on for days together and all of it in vain... completely useless and disappointing...! But one day while i was riding back home from office, i suddenly get these thoughts and it changed me completely...!!!!

Writing down these thoughts here, it might help you, who go through similar situations like me...if you are sensitive or hypersensitive (like me) --


1. Happiness cannot be found outside of you, coz it is right there, inside of you!

2. Loving them (friends n family in my case) doesn't mean, my happiness would always be dependent on them!

3. If doing something for someone i love, makes me happy, that shouldn't mean, that if they aren't around, i wouldn't be happy at all! Doing something and being happy should be an add-on!

4. No one really is worth so much that you forget to smile and let them affect your relations with other people and things in your life!

5. Never give away so much to a relation, that in its absence you feel incomplete...

6. Those who take you for granted, wont wait or think again to take you on a joy ride too. Think -- articulate and behave accordingly.

7. Sometimes letting go is a sensible option only coz holding on would give nothing but hurt and ache.

8. Putting a coma in a relation is way better than putting a full stop. No bitterness lasts forever, so ever if you get a chance, you can continue where you left rather than regretting that you dint do, what you could have done.

9. Freeze a relation when you think its getting too sour and might end up being bitter. Coz if it gets bitter, eventually it shall rot and a rotten relation can never stop haunting you. If you freeze it today, there are chances of it being melted by the warmth, if ever!




AND AT LAST BUT OFCOZ NOT THE LEAST....IS THAT, UNLESS YOU ARE HAPPY AND CONTENT WITH YOUR OWN SELF, THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN MAKE PEOPLE AROUND YOU SMILE AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES...THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON OF ALL TIMES WHICH I LEARNT A VERY VERY VERY HARD WAY AND AFTER A VERY VERY VERY VERY LONG TIME...THOSE WHO CLAIM THAT THEY ARE SAD AND LIVE ONLY FOR OTHERS AND TO MAKE THEM SMILE, ARE LIVING A LIE!

SO, BE HAPPY TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY...HAPPINESS IS THE MOST CONTAGIOUS THING EVER...IT SPREADS LIKE FIRE AND HAS A VERY STRONG AND DEEP ROOTED EFFECT ON EVER SOUL SINGLE SOUL THAT YOU ENCOUNTER IN YOUR LIFE...

I AM HAPPY NOW... ARE YOU?

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I miss my Childhood -- My Paper Boats


Woh Kaagaz ki Kashti.....
Woh Baarish ka Paani......


Gone are those days...!! The amazing childhood days... The utter carefree days!!! When we had to do nothing but have fun...unlimited fun... Nothing to worry about but the homework!! No responsibilities but to make sure the tiffin lasts till the recess... Never-ending tales to tell...of school at home and of home at school...

Childhood was a riot of colours...colours so bright that its luster is still the same...all the memories are etched in our mind and heart, like it happened just yesterday!

That era was a different world!! When things were simpler, people were genuine, friendships were real, worries were meager, love was pure, conversations were not superficial, and praises were not mere words, when money was secondary, when success was one of the many aims, when children were meant to be children, when mocking others wasn’t in vogue!

Today’s world is all jumbled up! It’s as if gone upside down. Doubts reign over faith! Hatred reign over love! Finding logic to everything and then getting nowhere is the finest thing to do. Something that has no meaning is appreciated the most. Men having no values rule the rest of them.

I miss my childhood!!! I miss those carefree-fun filled days a lot... but most of all, I miss them when it rains... no matter where I go, I don’t see paper boats sailing in the roadside water streams... and my heart sinks lower!!! What has this era done to the kids? Where is that innocent childhood gone?

Building sand castles no matter if just a wave would bring it down in seconds after its made, making paper boats; so what if they are soaked in water and tear off half way... all of this has gone!!!! Kids find it “kiddish” to do all this... If only someone can go tell them, they are kids and they are suppose to be kiddish...

I miss my childhood a lot... but sadly and strangely enough I miss to see childhood around me! Even amongst kids, childhood has long faded away...

Yeh Daulat bhi le lo,
Yeh Shohrat bhi le lo,
Bhale chheen lol;
Mujhse meri jawani,
Magar mujhko lauta do;
Bachpan ka sawan,
Woh Kaagaz ki Kashti ...
Woh Baarish ka Paani.........

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Is Ahmedabad really SAFE???



I am a proud Gujarati, domiciled in Gujarat for all my life. And I am living in Ahmedabad since past 3 years. I always fearlessly make this statement with a lot of conviction...that “Ahmedabad is the safest place on the planet”. But off late, I fear saying this...after what happened with me a few nights ago at mere 11 p.m. on a Goddamn highway (and mind you, it’s the most popular and busiest highway) of Ahmedabad...

5th June 2012, 11 p.m.
SG Highway - Ahmedabad - Gujarat

I was merrily riding back home from a dinner at my best friend's place. It was all alright till I crossed the Thaltej circle which is pretty awake even at 1 in the night as just opposite to the circle is PVR cinemas. I moved around the circle and moved towards the direction to my home. Just a few seconds later I felt someone touching my shoulder. I looked back and it was a guy on the pillion seat of a bike... I too was riding my 2 wheeler and so I shrugged away furiously and moved a li’l further with a li’l more speed... It of course dint end there, they came near me again and teased a li'l more intensely which really enraged me and so I verbally abused them, real bad... That may be instigated them further & so before I could realize or react, the guy on the pillion seat very roughly brushed his hand on my leg and pulled out they keys from a running 2 wheeler, kicked me and zoomed off… And because he kicked, I fell off the road, the scooter fell on me and I was badly bruised. By the time I managed get up, they were already out of sight and I was there, alone on the highway with a scooter that won’t work. I was shit scared!!!!

My bad luck that two of my closest friends in Ahmedabad who lived only 10 mins away were both out of town vacationing. I couldn’t think of anyone who could come there in as less time as possible…and I was literally trembling with fear…so I ended up calling me colleague cum friend who again lives some 10 minutes away and asked her to come to my rescue… Till she came I was all alone on the highway with a scooter that couldn’t run nor could I run away coz I feared they could come back and take away the scooter with the keys they have… those 10 minutes on the deserted highway were the scariest moments of my life. Every bike that passed by raced my heartbeats coz I thought it were them again.

Later what happened, was all good… but the only reason I am writing this is coz I want to share and shout out loud to the people out that to be aware. I did not be more aware and notice their bike number, else things would be different.

Bad incidents don’t happen with only illiterate or the down trodden people or by drunken people or at high end pubs / bars / discs… it can very well happen with anyone, anywhere, anytime.

I am a lawyer, practicing in the High Court, but what could I do about this whole issue? NOTHING at all… it really upsets me but what could I do? I spoke to my friends in the same profession, my colleagues, and my seniors even, but in vain. More important is to NOT feel down trodden or to feel victimized, may be you cannot do anything about it sometimes, coz most of these accidents happen at night, and the doers are faceless or just disappear in the dark before you do anything about it... If you fall weak, things would get worse and it certainly is not the solution. I know it’s easier said than done, coz I have faced it....

But, if you can do anything at all, make others aware about things... Ill incidents don’t ask you before they occur, they just happen and if they are destined to happen, you cannot do anything about it. All you can do, is NOT be carefree, to take all necessary precautions (in my case, it would have been nothing but yet, not all incidents are similar), to BE AWARE (which I missed out on but then it all happened in a jiffy), to NOT take things for granted coz Ahmedabad is safe…

It is a clichĂ© for sociology to suggest education is the answer, but this is a truism for good reason. I don’t simply mean by focusing on the next generation going to school, although sexual education in schools should most definitely cover sexual violence. I also mean expanding the boundaries of public discussion through information, honesty and compassion. Media images make sexual violence into something exotic: it happens in ‘bad homes’, to ‘other’ women who are too afraid to leave their partners – but it doesn’t happen to men… or so we are led to believe. It happens, ‘somewhere else’ – in other countries, where people are poor and less educated. Now you know this is not true.





Well, after all this, I can only say SAFETY is a MYTH… there is a lot more to Ahmedabad these days… Yet I would not hesitate to say, that Ahmedabad is much much much better off than many other cities in India, coz though these incidents are happening NOW in Ahmedabad, they are still not so very rampant, as compared to the numbers of such cases in other parts of the country.



BREAK-FREE it’s not your fault
LIVE FREE it’s not in your hands
But
KEEP YO EYES, MIND, and EARS open --- may be you can stop it from happening!

Saturday, May 26, 2012

lost era of MUSIC

a very dear friend recently wrote (or may be i read it recently) about how much lower can bollywood drop!!!! He's written it very aptly and crisply, you can read it here:


It kinda kindled my thoughts and even i want to say something on the same lines... my 2 year old cousin humms "munni badnaam" & "sheila ki jawani" & "oh la la oh la la" & "chhamakchhallo"... she doesnt know what they mean, she hums them coz the beat is very peppy and catchy...


They (cousin's family) tries to keep her away from TV as much as possible, but in a joint family with other 8 members around, what can you not expect and thanks to the vacation, the TV is always on, either the kids or the ladies or the senior citizens are watching something or the other... When i hear her sing these, its awesome at one hand for the kiddie language you get to hear and disgusting on the other hand that at this tender age, look at the kind of songs these kids sing....so what that they dont know the meaning yet!


Not only kids of this age, even the schoolers are all about the dances (i would call them raunchy dances) by Kareena, Katrina, Mallika, Maliaka, Vidya and many more.... their dressing, their dancing, their expressions, their "patli kamar" inspires them and ofcoz the song itself..even a school going kid of around 8-9 or 10 years wouldnt understand much of what these songs mean, esp. when its a pun...but the peppy music and glamour effect allures them and they are all about it...


It scares the shit outta me actually...where is the generation heading?




 Katrina in Chikni Chameli: "jungle mein aaj mangal karungi, bhookhe shero se khelungi main".....


Vidya Balan in Oh lala oh lala: "chhuna na chhuna na ab main jawan ho gayi"


Katrina Kaif in Sheila ki Jawani: "i am too sexy for you main tere haath na aani"

its not too long back, in mid 90s, there was a song featuring Karishma Kapoor with lyrics like "sexy sexy sexy mujhe log bole" and with immense pressure from various walks of society and several debates, the lyrics were finally changed to "baby baby" in place of "Sexy sexy"!!!!


And things are only getting worse each day.... recently a movie "Tezz" featured an item song by Mallika Sherawat called "Laila".....the lyrics were something like "do you wanna get hot, do you wanna get wet"!!!!



I mean, is this what we want from the Film Industry??? Is this what we want our kids to see and grow up with? These songs should either not be made (but thanks to our fate, its Democracy, they will forever be made), they should in that case, be only limited to theaters...not be all over the place on internet and TV and promos... 

In the process of becoming more open about the genres, the Film Industry has stooped down to the lowest levels...be it the lyrics, the clothing, the scenes in the songs and everything about it has gone from bad to worse and it is only killing our younger generation and forcing it to become something it is not!!!

Quality Music is a dream in today's date, either there are Hinglish songs that make no sense or there are these 3rd grade item numbers that can kill you and make you feel disgusted...sitting with family and watching television has become awkward coz of these raunchy numbers...

Bollywood seriously needs a change and the people in it only can bring it... else bachi kuchi izzat bhi gawa denge!!!!!






Friday, May 25, 2012

Life -- as SHE knows it!


My life suddenly got a new meaning...and who gave it? A young free spirited girl, in her mid teens.. A cute face, soon to be pretty, a smile that never fades, pair of eyes in a search, lips that are always humming a song. When you see her, you would be like what a serene – cute looking – happy girl…totally in here own little happy world that has no qualms, no sufferings, away and devoid of all pain and agony!

But can we judge the book by its cover? Not really! As I began to read her layer by layer, I realized, there is so much hidden in her heart that may be my whole life would fall short to understand or imagine what living hell her life is!

Abused; both verbally and physically by her own mother & younger sister, almost every other day for almost everything she does. Parents don’t live together, they live in different countries. And she is more attached to her daddy, and that’s her sin.

Family is where we learn to love, to cherish, to trust. Family is where we are protected, nurtured, given strength, given courage. Family is temple of love, faith, empathy, compassion. It teaches us the values of sacrifice for loved ones, the importance of cherishing relationships, of morals, ethics, the ability to choose from good & bad, from right & wrong. Family is everything for a child who is yet to go out and see the world. And if this sheltering cocoon is where you are abused and unloved and ignored and neglected and if you are deprived of everything you have and you should be given, then it gets really tough for a child to open up her/his mind and heart to the world and for the rest of their life, they would be tormented by the hatred and pain and suffering and agony they have been gifted by the people who are connected to them by blood. A bond, which is the strongest bond ever!

But this little female out there, is so full of life, even after being in hell since 5 long years. I think of her and my heart breaks into pieces… I think of her smile and pray to the Almighty to take away all her pains and give her the happiness she deserves… I truly and dearly wish & hope & pray to God to preserve her innocence and keep it safe, to make her believe that world is a better place to live, to keep her re-assured that there is love out there for all and everyone gets their share!

True it is when they say, that when God gives you adversity, He without fail gives you the courage to bear it and overcome it, when the time is right!

May God bless her and give her the LIFE as she knows it!

I am Proud of you Kiddo! You are for sure a source of inspiration for all those, who only sulk about problems instead of facing them with all the might that they have, just the way you do it!


Monday, May 21, 2012

Live FREE


We all knowingly sometimes and unknowingly most times, give shelter to a lethal thing in our minds & hearts... It takes the better off us and makes us feel miserable all the time..."GRUDGE"!


We don't really realize it but its only us who creates it...we don't really know it but its only us who can destroy it... Coz nothing apart from the ever so complex human mind coupled with emotions that have had a burnt, can create something as dangerous as grudge...


Very recently I realized that if we really wanna be happy, we need to cleanse our system, our inner system off of all evils and devils that have kept poking us at unwanted places and times...


When we are deeply hurt by someone's words / actions / behaviour .. that's when we let grudge take over our heads & hearts... It crawls within every part of us making us feel more victimized and more guilty than the wrong doer...


Getting rid of your grudge is not easy and not many wanna do it either coz the process takes a lot of courage and of course you need to leave aside your ego and taste the bitter side of the story, for a while, which might linger sometimes... But, don't we get a cavity filled tooth either treated or removed?


This is the same... its like living free...like unloading the unwanted things, shedding the rusted parts and leaving them behind to lead a lighter life -- a happier life... There was this person who hurt me real bad...the kind of behaviour that person posed wasn't something I could tolerate... and things got very messed up! For nearly 6 long months I held an ugly grudge against that person, unknowingly for the most time though....but one day when i realized, that this miserable killing feeling is nothing but my grudge, i so wanted to get over with it... so i decided to meet that person... sounds easy but i had to gather a lot of courage to call and ask to meet. Actually meet, talk without letting the bitterness flow or show...hug and say a goodbye dearly wishing good for the other person....


But the feeling i then had was so amazing...as if someone took away the curse that was spelled on me...
Today even if i remember that person or the good and the bad moments we had spent together, it doesnt kill me...it comes and goes away like a passing thought...but this one made me realize something very vital and taught me a lesson i ought not forget, never hold a Grudge against anyone...it does more bad to you than to the other person and seriously, its not worth it....no one is worth so much .... NO ONE!!!!



LIVE FREE ---- LIFE IS JUST ONCE --- AT LEAST AS FAR AS WE KNOW!!!!!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Love v/s Attraction!


A sweet kind gesture, a warm smile, and a lil more attention and we gals fall flat on that cute guy we have always looked at from the corner of our eyes! But we gals, we better beware! Not always, these cute looking guys are “in love” no matter what they say and claim.

There is a very easy guide I have come up with, that shall surely help you distinguish between the guys you hand around with loves you or is it merely Time Pass. Watch your step dahlings, you might else end up being hurt.



This is what GUYS do in different phases i.e. Love and/or Time Pass:

Love: will call you with your name usually, unless in a very mushy mood
Time Pass: will never take you real name unless there is fight. From shona to baby to sweetie = all of it, is you!

Love: Limited respectful PDA
Time Pass: PDA knows no boundaries (ofcoz he doesn’t really care)

Love: would insist on meeting your friends, to know you more!
Time Pass: would insist on meeting your (female) friends only and would start to flirt with them instantly (esplly the pretty ones)

Love: would be interested in knowing everything you do through the day!
Time Pass: would be interested in knowing what you doing when you are talking and when the next meet can happen!

Love: he’d have a choice in seeing you in a certain attire / get up and shall love some of them more than the others
Time Pass: he’d like everything you wear and would fanatically like every picture you put up on FB, no matter however unlikable it is!

Love: would want to hear your voice once a day at least, no matter how hectic the day!
Time Pass: would be around only when they need someone to talk to!

Love: would be on his toes to make you meet his family (At least some members, if not all at a time)
Time Pass: you wouldn’t even know his family details – meeting is a distant dream (yours) nightmare (his)

Love: would love to talk to you, listen to you, and spend quality time with you
Time Pass: would only love being hanky-panky around you

Love: physical intimacy comes along naturally as comfort level increases
Time Pass: emotional blackmailed physical intimacy – making it the yardstick of comfort level (the most dangerous one, don’t EVER fall for it)

These are the basic indicators...else every word he utters and every move he makes can be measured -observed and judged...so when it is a new relationship, please keep you eyes, ears, mind and GUT feelings' switch open ....to avoid getting miserably hurt...